This was meant to be the Friday Funny for last Week…. But it's a little late… hmmm, sorry… It's not hilarious but it'll have to do…
This came to me in an e-mail from my friend Laurie.. Enjoy.
19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF SANITY
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds.”
- Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
- Don't use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat – with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
- Sing along at the opera.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “run for your lives, they're loose!!”
- Tell your children over dinner “due to theeconomy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
© 2007, Robert Owen. All rights reserved.
