Being that this is a Holiday weekend and all, I thought that this week’s Friday Funny would be a TWO-FOR-ONE Special… Yes, that’s right, two funnies. We’ve done this before around here but don’t get too excited, probably wont hapen again for a while.
So, all that being said, here are this week’s Funnies! The first goes out to all my Musician Friends out there…
1. The conductor speaks to his orchestra before rehearsal:
Conductor: “Please take your pencils out, we have some marking to do before rehearsal may begin. Change the first two bars to 3/4 time, NOT 4/4 time as written. Next, in the 5th bar, change it to 7/8 and this remains until the end. Now, in bar 73… lower the pitch 1/2 step. In bar 76… lower the pitch one whole step. This will remain until the end. Thank you. Now, let us begin.”
Soprano Soloist: “Please excuse me, Maestro. What would you like me to change in my part?”
Conductor: “Nothing, madam. Just sing it EXACTLY as you did yesterday.”
😆 😆 😆
2. “One Day in the Confessional” – Rated PG
Tommy Shaughnessy went into the confessional box and said, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.”
The priest said, “Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?”
“Yes Father, it is.”
“Who was this woman you were with?”
“I cannot tell you, Father, because I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Who was this woman you were with — tell me?”
“Please, I cannot tell you, Father, because I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
The priest asked, “Was it Brenda Patty O’Malley?”
“No.”
“Was it Mary Patricia Kelly?”
“No.”
“Was it Elizabeth Mary Shannon?”
“No.”
“Was it Fiona Mary McDonald?”
“No.”
“Was it Cathy Moran Morgan?”
“No, Father! I cannot tell you.”
The priest finally gave up and said, “Tommy, I admire your perseverance, but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be three Hail Marys and four Our Fathers. Go back to your pew.”
Tommy walked back to his pew. His friend, Sean, slid over and whispered, “What happened?”
“Well, I got three Hail Marys, four Our Fathers, and five good leads.” 😳
© 2009, Robert Owen. All rights reserved.
