Friday Funny: 9 Phrases

Welcome to our first Friday Funny of April!!! Ok, today’s Funny could be classified not so much as a “Funny” but more as list of phrases who’s aim is to Educate Men on when they are about to get into trouble. So, I give to you…

NINE PHRASES WOMEN USE

1. Fine :  This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes:  If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing:  This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission.. Don’t Do It!
5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That’s Okay:  This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot‘ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome‘ .. that will bring on a ‘whatever‘).
8. Whatever : Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
9. Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?‘ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

So, you can see, it is important that all men familiarize themselves with this list so they will have a good warning  about arguments they can avoid (if they remember the terminology).

© 2009, Robert Owen. All rights reserved.