Friday Funnies

Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

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To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

  1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
  2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise your Voice!
  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
  4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
  5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ‘ For Ma rijuana’
  6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
  7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.
  9. Sing Along At The Opera. It can’t make it any worse!
  10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party because You have a headache.
  11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!!’
  12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
  13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…

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5 minute Management Course

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Here’s a funny to start off our New Year right! I received this ditty in my e-mail this morning and thought I should share it now. These are some straight to the point lessons for better management.

Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that
towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and
leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?’

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.

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Friday Funny: KENTUCKY GHOST STORY

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I'm BACK!! Again. Sorry for the lack of posts. I need to be more focused. Probably not going to happen anytime soon though, so don't get your hopes up. This week's Friday Funny comes, yet again, from my e-mail. It's not a rib buster, but pretty good none the less. So here ya go, hope you enjoy: KENTUCKY GHOST STORY … Read more

Friday Funny: The Government

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I found this week's Friday Funny while digging through my Outlook Archive. Ahh, the Outlook Archive. It's a vast, unending repository of worthless stuff. Enjoy! The Government: Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is Politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to … Read more

Friday Funny: Late again.

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Sorry for the lateness of this week's Friday Funny. I've been busy! As, you'll see soon, I had some important experiments to attempt. Attempt, is the key word in the sentence. So, here it is… Something to make you smile when you've had a “I hate my Job” day. Enjoy! When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' [Even … Read more