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You are here: Home / Friday Funnies / Friday Funny: Church Bulletins

Friday Funny: Church Bulletins

September 4, 2009 By Robert Owen

church

It’s Friday again and time for another Friday Funny!!

I Hope everyone had a good week.  Mine was a bit strange and I’m looking forward to the long weekend ahead.

This just goes to show you that you should always have someone else proof read your work BEFORE you send it to the printer.

The Funny below came to me via e-mail from my good friend Stu.  Supposedly, these are actual Church bulletin errors.  Don’t know if they’re real or not but, they sure are funny!  Enjoy! 🙂

Actual Church Bulletin Errors:

  1. Don’t let worry kill you.  Let the church help.
  2. Thursday night potluck supper with prayer and  medication to follow.
  3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  4. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  6. Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies giving milk will please come early.
  7. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs.. Jones will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.
  8. Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.  All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
  9. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs.. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  10. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
  11. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
  12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will  follow.
  13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
  15. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell on May 10 and 11.
  16. Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to the church secretary.
  17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  18. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
  19. The Senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
  20. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  21. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I upped my pledge.  Up yours.”

© 2009, Robert Owen. All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Friday Funnies Tagged With: Choir Practice, Church Basement, E Mail, Easter Sunday, Evening Service, First Presbyterian Church, Good Friend, Julius Belzer, Ladies Liturgy Society, Mothers Club, Mrs Jones, Mrs Lewis, New Carpet, Nursery Downstairs, Piece Of Paper, Private Study, Rosebud, Sermon Topic, Tuesday Evening, Weight Watchers

Robert Owen A Horn Player turned salesman, turned Computer Consultant & Horn Player, Turn Network Engineer & Horn Player.... Well, How about a Horn player who does a lot of other stuff? More about me. FacebookInstagramLinkedInTwitter

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